Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
