im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
