And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
