dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
