I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
