Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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