OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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