what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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