Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
porn star boner night. come get it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
