Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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