i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
