You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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