girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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