you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
