I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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