And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
