Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
