new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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