But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
