but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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