last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
