Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
