I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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