the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
