so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Someone came in the potted fern
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
