you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
