new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Help. Why am I so naked?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
