what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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