You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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