Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
