Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
