take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
babies were throwing up all over the place
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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