How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
