She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
