I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
