your parents love me but you hate me
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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