we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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