It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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