you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
is it fun? or sober?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
