well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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