Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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