He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
