i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
