What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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