Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
