I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
