he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
