i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
