yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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