Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
