that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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